What thou shall be told is a tale that does not wag and a story that does not make a building. There was once a destitute who ailed from a disease so rare but so potent that even the mightiest of kings prostrate before the might (the one in “dude, it might vitiate us). The name was Put-tea. Not of the disease but of the destitute. The disease was, of course, Negativus Sense-o-humourus.
Hopeless, Popeless and dopeless, the non-catholic boy had no money even to buy weed. This did not make sense since grass was available for free. All the cows in his time were always high after consuming grass as it grew only on hilltops. The boy was mocked by friends and foes alike. While others children dreamed of becoming gallant warriors and shrewd rulers, Put-tea never had any money for dreaming. This did not make sense since people were never charged for dreams. Only batteries had to be charged for dreams.
However, the boy had one aspiration. This is the story of how Put-tea went about fulfilling his aspiration. Even now, Pu-tea’s attaining the unattainable provides hope and faith to kazillions of losers like us on this planet. Put-tea always wanted a toaster and desired to flaunt it with the greatest of pride. But, alas! The poor boy did not have money to buy one. This makes sense, one might say. Incorrect they are. Only Bengalis make Sens.
As a wise man once said; “He giveth thee more than what he taketh.” God not only took Put-tea’s sense of humour away, but reduced it to such negative levels that he became a sucking vortex of humour. He would even, inadvertently though, sap all the humour surrounding him. “What sap?”, one might say. “I’m kewl. What sap with you?”, would be my reply. However, God gave Put-tea an uncanny sense of music. He could convert any object lying around him into a musical instrument. He could conjure the most soothing music from the hardest of stones and from the most delicate of flowers.
On that fateful day, a messenger came from the faraway lands of Flaunton. The messenger sang of Flaunton’s requirement of the best musicians in the world. This was music to Put-tea’s ears, even literally. At Once did Put-tea decide to embark on the quest that eventually led to his aspiration. He was, at the time, experimenting with his prodigious talent in an alley named Once.
Put-tea reached Flaunton with no possessions except his lack of any trace of any sort of sense of humour. Impecunious, Put-tea had to create an ingenious musical instrument. This makes sense, one might say. Ever so, incorrect they are. Only perfumers make scents. Put-tea named the instrument bagpiper. Noticing his talent, Royal Band of Scotland inducted him in their legion.
Put-tea had to quickly adapt to the new life at RBS for its members did not have Faaltu Time. Adept as he was at music and its nuances, Put-tea quickly rose amongst the ranks in RBS. Soon, he acquired fame and money and with it, the finer art of flaunting. After months of dedicated hard work, Pu-tea decided that the time had arrived.
He threw a grand party and invited rulers of all lands. Investing all his hard-earned wealth in the party, Pu-tea left no scope for any improvement. Flawless were the decorations and unmatched the comforts. Choicest of chefs were hired and funniest of stand-up comedians invited. This did not make even an iota of difference as Put-tea sucked all the humour. “What iota?”, one might ask. “The same that makes Corolla.”, would be my reply.
Soon, everyone had arrived. The stage was set and the time was ripe. Put-tea went to the stage and paid everyone cash for their attention. This did not make sense since attention was free. People always had a tension in their lives. Everyone looked up to Put-tea. That moment depicted the triumph of a poor boy against all odds and is a testimony to grit and perseverance of humans. Amidst the wave of expectant and probing gazes, Put-tea said, “I would like to raise a toast.”
Out of a contraption held by Put-tea, out popped two loaves of bread.
P.S. Put-tea is also known as HKP, Plaster and Critique Gupta.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Lethargy of Time
Failure at achieving aspirations. Not so successful in a peanut-paying job. No girlfriends, not even one. The launderette gets closed as soon as I reach there. For the sake of statistics, that too after carrying 2.25 kgs of clothes for almost 1.2 kms. Of course, the clothes had to be lugged back home. So 1.2 should theoretically be doubled. And yes, even though I’m utterly indifferent to, no comments/likes on facebook status. To top it all, three of the only four jeans possessed get stolen from the terrace. This last one is hitting below the belt.
I can make a blockbuster laugh-riot on this life. Always knew this is a practical joke being carried out on a large scale. Notwithstanding the fact that the joke is on me, I’ll laugh along. Though this axiom doesn’t need a mention, Andaz Apna Apna would (still) be the best comedy movie ever.
P.S. The following video re-affirms my awe of Pakistani music talent.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz78R2rCOvE
I can make a blockbuster laugh-riot on this life. Always knew this is a practical joke being carried out on a large scale. Notwithstanding the fact that the joke is on me, I’ll laugh along. Though this axiom doesn’t need a mention, Andaz Apna Apna would (still) be the best comedy movie ever.
P.S. The following video re-affirms my awe of Pakistani music talent.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz78R2rCOvE
Monday, July 27, 2009
Good Morning!
Perpetual state of bad luck - (noun)
a state in which, no matter what, each and every thing that can / can not go wrong goes wrong. In such a state, the victim usually begins to blame everything on luck, starts to feel like a loser and tends to magnify even the slightest of setbacks to the biggest of failures.
There are pros and cons of being in a perpetual state of bad luck. Pros include (and are not limited to) the freedom to ascribe all of one’s perennial inadequacies to bad luck so that one is acquitted from them. Also, one is in constant anticipation of contretemps of all forms to occur. Such prognostic deportment makes one well-equipped and better prepared to endure (and not solve) the before-mentioned contretemps.
But if one takes a closer look, all the above pros are cons unto themselves. Perpetual state of bad luck makes one diffident and pessimistic. Every small hitch seems to be a big roadblock. Each of these “roadblocks” seem to be contrived by fate to make one realize what a big loser one is.
The worst part is the mornings. One wakes up to complete gloom and with no zest for life. To expound on the waking-up theory, I have given below two comprehensive cases.
1) Waking up after a Bad Dream/Nightmare: While sleeping previous night, one hopes for a more promising tomorrow, forgetting everything bad that has happened recently. The nightmares, however, just thwart all those hopes. Instead of obliterating all the memories, they bring them to the fore, accentuating the abysmal feeling.
2) Waking up after a Good Dream: Scarcely the case in dismal times, good dreams end up reminding one of a state one is not in or, of something one does not have. The false sense of achievement reminds one of how close one has been, yet not there. So close, one can only stare at and keep desiring to be in that portrait. Imagining being there, all the while knowing one can’t get there, makes one despondent.
Imagine a long slide, swerving here and spiraling there. There are only three objects that can be seen : the slide , the destination and yourself. Pitch black darkness pervades all other space. You are sliding along the slide’s steep surface, doggedly holding on, no matter how precarious the situation becomes. All along, you can see the destination. Even though you are afraid of falling down, you cling on and strive hard to do so. You’ve almost reached there. You begin to reflect on all the struggle endured and it seems to be paying off. You’re so close that the destination seems tangible.
Suddenly, a rift appears in the slide, sucking you into it. Your heart skips a beat. You can’t breathe for a few moments and keep falling into the darkness. The worst part is the tenacity of the agonizing image of the destination. It refuses to fade away.
One scene from “Taarey Zameen Par” that has and will always stay vividly in my memory is that of the dyslexic child waking up with a smile. Waking up with sadness smeared all over one’s being is the worst possible way to start a day.
One has two choices: either let the stream of events take their due course and take one along with it or; make efforts to change the situation (which won’t work because of the basic definition of PSBL). Both can be justified in their own respect. But all said and done, I guess it’s denial that aggravates the problem. More on this may come soon.
P.S. Go nuts with the following data:
Median age of India -25.1 years Median age of US - 35.9
Average age of Lok Sabha – 53.03 years Average age of US Senate - 62
(Figures might vary a little)
a state in which, no matter what, each and every thing that can / can not go wrong goes wrong. In such a state, the victim usually begins to blame everything on luck, starts to feel like a loser and tends to magnify even the slightest of setbacks to the biggest of failures.
There are pros and cons of being in a perpetual state of bad luck. Pros include (and are not limited to) the freedom to ascribe all of one’s perennial inadequacies to bad luck so that one is acquitted from them. Also, one is in constant anticipation of contretemps of all forms to occur. Such prognostic deportment makes one well-equipped and better prepared to endure (and not solve) the before-mentioned contretemps.
But if one takes a closer look, all the above pros are cons unto themselves. Perpetual state of bad luck makes one diffident and pessimistic. Every small hitch seems to be a big roadblock. Each of these “roadblocks” seem to be contrived by fate to make one realize what a big loser one is.
The worst part is the mornings. One wakes up to complete gloom and with no zest for life. To expound on the waking-up theory, I have given below two comprehensive cases.
1) Waking up after a Bad Dream/Nightmare: While sleeping previous night, one hopes for a more promising tomorrow, forgetting everything bad that has happened recently. The nightmares, however, just thwart all those hopes. Instead of obliterating all the memories, they bring them to the fore, accentuating the abysmal feeling.
2) Waking up after a Good Dream: Scarcely the case in dismal times, good dreams end up reminding one of a state one is not in or, of something one does not have. The false sense of achievement reminds one of how close one has been, yet not there. So close, one can only stare at and keep desiring to be in that portrait. Imagining being there, all the while knowing one can’t get there, makes one despondent.
Imagine a long slide, swerving here and spiraling there. There are only three objects that can be seen : the slide , the destination and yourself. Pitch black darkness pervades all other space. You are sliding along the slide’s steep surface, doggedly holding on, no matter how precarious the situation becomes. All along, you can see the destination. Even though you are afraid of falling down, you cling on and strive hard to do so. You’ve almost reached there. You begin to reflect on all the struggle endured and it seems to be paying off. You’re so close that the destination seems tangible.
Suddenly, a rift appears in the slide, sucking you into it. Your heart skips a beat. You can’t breathe for a few moments and keep falling into the darkness. The worst part is the tenacity of the agonizing image of the destination. It refuses to fade away.
One scene from “Taarey Zameen Par” that has and will always stay vividly in my memory is that of the dyslexic child waking up with a smile. Waking up with sadness smeared all over one’s being is the worst possible way to start a day.
One has two choices: either let the stream of events take their due course and take one along with it or; make efforts to change the situation (which won’t work because of the basic definition of PSBL). Both can be justified in their own respect. But all said and done, I guess it’s denial that aggravates the problem. More on this may come soon.
P.S. Go nuts with the following data:
Median age of India -25.1 years Median age of US - 35.9
Average age of Lok Sabha – 53.03 years Average age of US Senate - 62
(Figures might vary a little)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
23
"He not busy being born is busy dying."
- Bob Dylan
I turned 23 on the 17th of this month. “No problemo, nothing changes in one day.”, the enlightened Joe would say. I am not referring here, of course, to the Supremely Enlightened One from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Every one remembers how he wailed, and pretty loudly at that, when he turned 30 in “The One Where They All Turn Thirty.”
I am forced to write this post because of a peculiar feeling I experienced on that day. 23 sounds big. A day back, I was still 22 and it sounded really young. Turning 23 sounds like crossing a bridge to the other side, or the next phase. I can picture a responsible Homo sapiens who is no longer carefree. Furrowed eyebrows giving a serious, which could be mistaken for a menacing, look. Upright posture and an overall thoughtful, motivated and inspired look.
Now before someone starts suspecting the occurrence of any sort of revelation in my life, let me clarify a few things. Yes, I do not feel like 22 anymore. As a matter of fact, I never did. I still feel like a 16 year old. Lets make that 17, lest one begins to call me a “delicate bud” in Hindi. I still try to shout as loud as a child running by (Well, a lot of children happen to run by me on a consistent basis). I still get excited upon getting chocolates and toffees (or, was that when I was 13?). It is 13. Anyway, I still feel like the carefree me of 17. However, by the looks of some events that have transpired recently, I might reach the bridge earlier than I ever thought. Scary.
Now, down to the details. Had a quite uneventful birthday this time around. Though, that happens every year because of the education system’s conspiracy. My flatmates and friends nearby did not remember. One of them actually went to his cousin’s place a few hours before the clock struck 12. So, there was no cake or any putrefied fruits in liquid state. I missed my cake. Not in a “Oh my God (sniff)! How can you forget (slap)!!” sort of way. But a more ”Oh God! Where’s the delicious creamy all-chocolate cake I would like to eat by myself?” sort of way. They would not even have given me b’day bumps had Now-nerve (who remembered) not come to my place to wish. Got the thrashing of my life from 100-god Jerk. I shouted my lungs out, cried wolf. But he was so bent on wiping clean the seats of my jeans with his slippers, that he convinced them to take me out of the society premises lest some family complained. To ensure that this post passes censors’ knife, I’ll refrain from any further, thoroughly violent details. Enjoyed the rest of night smoking Hukka and playing guitar (the first string snapped) with Poo-le-jaa as the fourth entente.
Got a call from everyone who matters. Woke up late next day. Knee-tee and Sheep-raw gave me b’day presents, which was the highlight of the day for me. Felt really excited about and elated over the presents. The gifts are actually very useful and certainly one of my best : a toy car, Times Food Guide, P.G. Wodehouse omnibus and Pictionary. Had delicious boneless chicken Biryani in Meghna (a restaurant, in case anyone begins to reflect) with Now-nerve. Planned for a treat in TGIF. Mother Nature had other plans though. It rained cats and dogs and all animals alive/extinct. The plan got cancelled. Had dinner at home, watched an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and slept. By the way, I kept receiving b’day wishes till 11 in the night.
P.S. In case I ever “fall in love” with someone, I would never post a video with her pics and a mushy romantic song on youtube. Eeek. Just a reminder in case I read this post then.
P.S.P.S. At the end of the day, b’day ( more commonly, and in an irritating way, known as budday) is just another day. The date (except for the year part) just happens to coincide with the date of the day one is born. In spite of the futility of any sort of excitement over the date, I’d like to mention the following for their efforts to make a call or being there : Man-nee, Now-nerve, Tan-new, Puk-gaya, Knee-tee, Sheep-raw, Home, More Homes, Hen-jo, Pee-po, Half-tickit, Fish, Raw-hulk We-ass, Chaman, Troo, Put-tea, Hand-awe, Cena, Even More Homes, Gym Sheep-raw, Scew B, Delhip, 100-god Jerk, Poo-le-jaa, Quiet Ni. In case one wants to get one’s name included in the list above, transfer 1000 bucks to my a/c.
- Bob Dylan
I turned 23 on the 17th of this month. “No problemo, nothing changes in one day.”, the enlightened Joe would say. I am not referring here, of course, to the Supremely Enlightened One from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Every one remembers how he wailed, and pretty loudly at that, when he turned 30 in “The One Where They All Turn Thirty.”
I am forced to write this post because of a peculiar feeling I experienced on that day. 23 sounds big. A day back, I was still 22 and it sounded really young. Turning 23 sounds like crossing a bridge to the other side, or the next phase. I can picture a responsible Homo sapiens who is no longer carefree. Furrowed eyebrows giving a serious, which could be mistaken for a menacing, look. Upright posture and an overall thoughtful, motivated and inspired look.
Now before someone starts suspecting the occurrence of any sort of revelation in my life, let me clarify a few things. Yes, I do not feel like 22 anymore. As a matter of fact, I never did. I still feel like a 16 year old. Lets make that 17, lest one begins to call me a “delicate bud” in Hindi. I still try to shout as loud as a child running by (Well, a lot of children happen to run by me on a consistent basis). I still get excited upon getting chocolates and toffees (or, was that when I was 13?). It is 13. Anyway, I still feel like the carefree me of 17. However, by the looks of some events that have transpired recently, I might reach the bridge earlier than I ever thought. Scary.
Now, down to the details. Had a quite uneventful birthday this time around. Though, that happens every year because of the education system’s conspiracy. My flatmates and friends nearby did not remember. One of them actually went to his cousin’s place a few hours before the clock struck 12. So, there was no cake or any putrefied fruits in liquid state. I missed my cake. Not in a “Oh my God (sniff)! How can you forget (slap)!!” sort of way. But a more ”Oh God! Where’s the delicious creamy all-chocolate cake I would like to eat by myself?” sort of way. They would not even have given me b’day bumps had Now-nerve (who remembered) not come to my place to wish. Got the thrashing of my life from 100-god Jerk. I shouted my lungs out, cried wolf. But he was so bent on wiping clean the seats of my jeans with his slippers, that he convinced them to take me out of the society premises lest some family complained. To ensure that this post passes censors’ knife, I’ll refrain from any further, thoroughly violent details. Enjoyed the rest of night smoking Hukka and playing guitar (the first string snapped) with Poo-le-jaa as the fourth entente.
Got a call from everyone who matters. Woke up late next day. Knee-tee and Sheep-raw gave me b’day presents, which was the highlight of the day for me. Felt really excited about and elated over the presents. The gifts are actually very useful and certainly one of my best : a toy car, Times Food Guide, P.G. Wodehouse omnibus and Pictionary. Had delicious boneless chicken Biryani in Meghna (a restaurant, in case anyone begins to reflect) with Now-nerve. Planned for a treat in TGIF. Mother Nature had other plans though. It rained cats and dogs and all animals alive/extinct. The plan got cancelled. Had dinner at home, watched an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and slept. By the way, I kept receiving b’day wishes till 11 in the night.
P.S. In case I ever “fall in love” with someone, I would never post a video with her pics and a mushy romantic song on youtube. Eeek. Just a reminder in case I read this post then.
P.S.P.S. At the end of the day, b’day ( more commonly, and in an irritating way, known as budday) is just another day. The date (except for the year part) just happens to coincide with the date of the day one is born. In spite of the futility of any sort of excitement over the date, I’d like to mention the following for their efforts to make a call or being there : Man-nee, Now-nerve, Tan-new, Puk-gaya, Knee-tee, Sheep-raw, Home, More Homes, Hen-jo, Pee-po, Half-tickit, Fish, Raw-hulk We-ass, Chaman, Troo, Put-tea, Hand-awe, Cena, Even More Homes, Gym Sheep-raw, Scew B, Delhip, 100-god Jerk, Poo-le-jaa, Quiet Ni. In case one wants to get one’s name included in the list above, transfer 1000 bucks to my a/c.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
XXXX XXXX XXX - II
Rating: Insane Advisory. Must be read under the supervision of a lunatic. Extreme discretion advised. Disclaimer: The following text is highly contextual and any resemblance to any person or any incident, no matter how far-fetched, might turn out to be true. I am not responsible for anyone’s psychic powers deciphering the import of the statements that follow
The knight had once desired to njoy during the tutelage he received in Daily-Dally from Hope A. Mar. However, some arcane archives suggest that fate took his bliss to other arcades. Dejected, he went to far-off cold lands of Mighty Mittens. There and thence he was anointed as the generalissimo of the gentlemanly gentry. It is there that he chanced to meet the generous damsel. Smitten by the gentleness of the noble woman, the knight could not fore-see the arrival of the dragon. The dragon, though devoid of any mal-intent, had a prior covenant bequeathing him with the lady’s affection. The woman had to choose one between the two. To the knight’s delight, the woman played true to his hopes.
What transpired there onwards is not for everyone to know. However, the knight did shower many a people with this fable. People such as me, pie’-popper…some needy, some small, and some who entered a shell.
P.S. The disclaimers are not applicable to any of my sort-ofs….and for the umpteenth number of time, the post is not about me. In case any one desires to know the controversial title, a special request needs to be sent to me.
The knight had once desired to njoy during the tutelage he received in Daily-Dally from Hope A. Mar. However, some arcane archives suggest that fate took his bliss to other arcades. Dejected, he went to far-off cold lands of Mighty Mittens. There and thence he was anointed as the generalissimo of the gentlemanly gentry. It is there that he chanced to meet the generous damsel. Smitten by the gentleness of the noble woman, the knight could not fore-see the arrival of the dragon. The dragon, though devoid of any mal-intent, had a prior covenant bequeathing him with the lady’s affection. The woman had to choose one between the two. To the knight’s delight, the woman played true to his hopes.
What transpired there onwards is not for everyone to know. However, the knight did shower many a people with this fable. People such as me, pie’-popper…some needy, some small, and some who entered a shell.
P.S. The disclaimers are not applicable to any of my sort-ofs….and for the umpteenth number of time, the post is not about me. In case any one desires to know the controversial title, a special request needs to be sent to me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
XXXX XXXX XXX (Title censored after protests by Bad-rang Bull)
Rating: Insane Advisory. Must be read under the supervision of a lunatic.
Disclaimer: The following text is highly contextual and any resemblance to any person or any incident, no matter how far-fetched, might turn out to be true. I am not responsible for anyone’s psychic powers deciphering the import of the statements that follow.
There was once a knight in shining armour who saved the damsel in distress. Since then , they started having long walks and protracted conversations lingering for hours at a stretch. But now, I and the pie’-popper know that the knight, with a crown on his head and wired to the hype-o-ed, has got a chink in his armour.
P.S. The disclaimers are not applicable to any of my sort-ofs….and for the first and last time, the post was not about me. In case any one desires to know the controversial title, a special request needs to be sent to me.
Disclaimer: The following text is highly contextual and any resemblance to any person or any incident, no matter how far-fetched, might turn out to be true. I am not responsible for anyone’s psychic powers deciphering the import of the statements that follow.
There was once a knight in shining armour who saved the damsel in distress. Since then , they started having long walks and protracted conversations lingering for hours at a stretch. But now, I and the pie’-popper know that the knight, with a crown on his head and wired to the hype-o-ed, has got a chink in his armour.
P.S. The disclaimers are not applicable to any of my sort-ofs….and for the first and last time, the post was not about me. In case any one desires to know the controversial title, a special request needs to be sent to me.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A Few Breaths Lesser
Am I not asking enough questions?
(A sharp metallic hum. Strong dark silence)
Have I lost track in the quest they call life? What is this feeling? Is this an overflow or a void? Why am I getting this feeling, whatever it is? Ah, questions. Why should I ask questions?
(Silence.)
Why did I just do that? Is it my responsibility to do so? Why do we have responsibilities? Why does someone have to do it? Why does it have to be done? Oh, it’s the same feeling again. It’s getting stronger. Sad. Why is it making me feel sad? Why do I feel sad? What is sadness? Ambition. Aspiration. Why do I imagine myself in a better situation? What is better? Why can’t this moment be the best? Does this moment have to be “the best” at all? Can’t I do without being in “the best” moment? Why do I desire? These questions have begun to scare me. I don’t want to ask anymore. I wish I could sleep this moment right here, without an ounce of care in the world.
(“Why is he so quiet today?”
“I don’t know. Diptanshu, what happened?”)
A Question. (Silence.)
(“Oh, nothing.”)
Have I become less articulate? What is this feeling that I get upon her success? Why do I feel angry, bitter and sad for someone else being better? Is this a feeling I should not have? Fear. Why am I so afraid of this feeling? Weak. Why does it make me feel so weak, drained of all the self-exalting confidence I flaunt so often? Why am I afraid of feeling weak? Fear. Hey, I just tried to run away. Wait, do I run away from frightening thoughts every time? Am I a coward deep within? Am I so weak? Ashamed…of myself, of my weakness, of this resentment within me for others’ might. No more questions. Hunger. I must feed myself.
(Silence)
(Footsteps)
Choler. Ire. Why did I let him go? Why did I not hit back? Why did I not give that arrogant piece of dirt a piece of my mind? Is my anger too transient to last a retaliation? Why should I have retaliated? Why do I care? Does it matter anymore? Did it matter to me back then? Should any of it matter at all? Should I care? Why am I here? What do I want? Is there any interminable gain to be obtained from this meaningless existence? If everything is so ephemeral, what am I striving for? Does crying over anything help or, will laughing it off do the job? Is any of these emotions relevant to anything? Void, overflowing.
(Footsteps.)
Hey, I don’t know that person well. We’re only acquainted. Yet, he showed concern. Why did I reciprocate now? What happened to the angry me earlier? Why was I transfixed then? Was I afraid of the consequences? Why did I show concern for this guy? Was it forced or was it impulsive? Is this stimulus in-born? Or, has it been fabricated in me by the society in a senseless act of dictation? Why should I show concern if I don’t feel it? Why does everyone put on such pretenses every insignificant day they live? Why do I do it? Have I not ever questioned such a meaningless consuetude as this before? What use am I to this society if I too stop questioning it? Of what use is this society to me? Why am I so dependant on it? Why do I need the assurance of having atleast one person to look forward to, if everyone else turns his back at me? Fatigue.
(Blackout)
(Silence)
(Blackout)
(“Oh come on, say something. He’s freaking me out.”)
Am I worrying too much about something trivial, missing on something vital? Have I squandered too much and collected little? Hold on…..am I asking too much?
(Silence, Blackout)
(Light, Warmth)
(Air, Smile)
(A sharp metallic hum. Strong dark silence)
Have I lost track in the quest they call life? What is this feeling? Is this an overflow or a void? Why am I getting this feeling, whatever it is? Ah, questions. Why should I ask questions?
(Silence.)
Why did I just do that? Is it my responsibility to do so? Why do we have responsibilities? Why does someone have to do it? Why does it have to be done? Oh, it’s the same feeling again. It’s getting stronger. Sad. Why is it making me feel sad? Why do I feel sad? What is sadness? Ambition. Aspiration. Why do I imagine myself in a better situation? What is better? Why can’t this moment be the best? Does this moment have to be “the best” at all? Can’t I do without being in “the best” moment? Why do I desire? These questions have begun to scare me. I don’t want to ask anymore. I wish I could sleep this moment right here, without an ounce of care in the world.
(“Why is he so quiet today?”
“I don’t know. Diptanshu, what happened?”)
A Question. (Silence.)
(“Oh, nothing.”)
Have I become less articulate? What is this feeling that I get upon her success? Why do I feel angry, bitter and sad for someone else being better? Is this a feeling I should not have? Fear. Why am I so afraid of this feeling? Weak. Why does it make me feel so weak, drained of all the self-exalting confidence I flaunt so often? Why am I afraid of feeling weak? Fear. Hey, I just tried to run away. Wait, do I run away from frightening thoughts every time? Am I a coward deep within? Am I so weak? Ashamed…of myself, of my weakness, of this resentment within me for others’ might. No more questions. Hunger. I must feed myself.
(Silence)
(Footsteps)
Choler. Ire. Why did I let him go? Why did I not hit back? Why did I not give that arrogant piece of dirt a piece of my mind? Is my anger too transient to last a retaliation? Why should I have retaliated? Why do I care? Does it matter anymore? Did it matter to me back then? Should any of it matter at all? Should I care? Why am I here? What do I want? Is there any interminable gain to be obtained from this meaningless existence? If everything is so ephemeral, what am I striving for? Does crying over anything help or, will laughing it off do the job? Is any of these emotions relevant to anything? Void, overflowing.
(Footsteps.)
Hey, I don’t know that person well. We’re only acquainted. Yet, he showed concern. Why did I reciprocate now? What happened to the angry me earlier? Why was I transfixed then? Was I afraid of the consequences? Why did I show concern for this guy? Was it forced or was it impulsive? Is this stimulus in-born? Or, has it been fabricated in me by the society in a senseless act of dictation? Why should I show concern if I don’t feel it? Why does everyone put on such pretenses every insignificant day they live? Why do I do it? Have I not ever questioned such a meaningless consuetude as this before? What use am I to this society if I too stop questioning it? Of what use is this society to me? Why am I so dependant on it? Why do I need the assurance of having atleast one person to look forward to, if everyone else turns his back at me? Fatigue.
(Blackout)
(Silence)
(Blackout)
(“Oh come on, say something. He’s freaking me out.”)
Am I worrying too much about something trivial, missing on something vital? Have I squandered too much and collected little? Hold on…..am I asking too much?
(Silence, Blackout)
(Light, Warmth)
(Air, Smile)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)